Spray-On Chest Hair
Spray-On Chest Hair

I have no chest hair. I’ll just let you digest that fact or a second. Nope, none, nada, zilch. Not a speck.  I know, Dear Reader, that this will be of tremendous interest to you, and I’m sure you now have a wonderful image in your mind of my pale, hairless chest (oh yes, I’m pasty too) so, once again, I shall allow you a brief moment to enjoy this thought. Done? OK, we’ll move on. Now, I share this fascinating tidbit with you because I often look to perfume (where else?) to give me what I lack and luckily for me, perfume answers with some impressively hairy-chested fragrances to provide me with what I so desperately lust for: spray-on chest hair.

This post celebrates six scents that could put hairs on your chest. They range from the machismo-classics of the 1980s – you know the ones where you can literally smell the testosterone emanating from their sprayers – all the way up to the more modern scents that just so happen to be so badass that they can’t keep their chest rugs tamed. So prepare yourself to spritz some scent and sprout some chest hair as we traverse the world of butch masculines – fragrances for men that could put hairs on the chest of the smoothest of guys. Put your trimmers aside and get set, folks, because things are set to get a bit hairy up in here.

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Movember Masculines Part 2 - Kouros by Yves Saint Laurent
Movember Masculines Part 2 – Kouros by Yves Saint Laurent

When picking the four scents for my ‘Movember Masculines’ series at Escentual, I knew that I simply had to include something from Yves Saint Laurent. This house, which is a shadow of its former glory for sure, is responsible for three of the most exceptional masculine fragrances out there – Kouros, M7 and Rive Gauche Pour Homme – and when it came to choosing the most iconic of this impressive bunch, Monsieur Kouros was difficult to ignore.

So this week I’ve taken a look at one of the most distinct, unique and divisive masculine scents one can buy. To add to that, Kouros is also one of the most unashamedly manly, conjuring up images of overly-tanned and smooth-chested lotharios who are as exuberant as they are audacious. Kouros is the king of the ’80s, and whilst he may seem a little bit dated now, he still reigns supreme.

The Simpsons
The Simpsons – The world’s favourite family.

The Scent a Celebrity Series is my vain attempt at picking perfumes for those who don’t know any better, yes I mean celebrities. Let’s face it, most celebrities are incapable of choosing decent clothing/boyfriends/girlfriends/movies/insert-celebrity-mistake-here let alone having the ability to make decisions about something as important as their scent – that’s where I come in. Never fear my dear schlebs, I will ensure that you are appropriately scented, all you need to do is listen.

So far the series has touched upon a variety of famous names including; those fuzzy-wuzzy comics The Muppets, the Icelandic super-talent that is Björk, schizophrenic female (but kinda-male due to her alter ego) rapper Nicki Minaj, the maniacal monarchs that make up the Royal Family and super-glam pop tour de force Scissor Sisters. Joining this patchwork quilt of celebrities is everyone’s favourite dysfunctional TV family, The Simpsons.

I am a die-hard The Simpsons Fan and I confess to having seen nearly every single episode at least twice. The colourful inhabitants of Springfield, or predominately-yellow inhabitants should I say, each provide a large dash of humour to a town that you wouldn’t really want to live in but are quite happy to watch from the comfort and relative safety of your own sofa.