“It’s time to play the music
It’s time to light the lights
It’s time to meet The Muppets on The Muppet Show tonight.”

I love The Muppets and I’m not ashamed to admit it, not for one second. Muppet Treasure Island is one of my all-time favourite films (probably right behind Sister Act), mainly due to the fact that it mixes two of my favourite things together; Muppets and PIRATES. I also love it because it reminds me of my childhood when my siblings and I would watch the video tape (remember those?) over and over and over again.

On Friday, the boy and I decided to see the latest Muppets movie, inventively titled ‘The Muppets’. As expected The Muppets were on top form and the movie was funny, adorable and wackily outrageous. To me, The Muppets are infectious, they get inside your head and force you to smile, laugh and be happy.

Ever since seeing the latest Muppet adventure on Friday I have had Muppets on the brain, and the little thought bubbling inside my noggin was “what fragrances would The Muppets wear?” Over the weekend I have been mentally assigning fragrances to our beloved furry friends, who are REAL and in no way puppet/marionette hybrids, and here are the results.

Miss Piggy

We start with Miss Piggy partly because she is the most fabulous of The Muppets but mainly because I think she would have something to say about it if we didn’t. She’s a Muppet but she’s also a Diva (not the capital ‘D’).

When thinking about Miss Piggy and the fragrance that she would wear, one fragrance kept coming to mind, the only one that could suit this perfectly preened porcine with one hell of an attitude – that fragrance was Fracas by Robert Piguet.

Miss Piggy is a gal with style, she’s the editor of French Vogue and she knows her designers. She is also a huge persona that shines on stage, therefore the only fragrance that will do is the ‘Diva Tuberose’ that is Fracas. It has exactly the right amount of vintage class, modern decadence and diva tendencies.

Kermit the Frog

Kermit the Frog is up there with the classic movie stars, in fact he seems to have a heck of a lot more longevity than most of the greats. Maybe it isn’t so difficult being green? Picking a fragrance for Kermit, who let’s face it is THE greatest frog of all time, isn’t so easy. Sure we could just pick something green, but I don’t really see him rocking N°19 any time soon…

To me Kermit is a gentleman, he’s debonaire but he’s also incredibly masculine, I mean Miss Piggy goes absolutely nuts for him, so there must be something about this suave amphibian that makes the ladies from all species sit up and pay attention. Perhaps Kermit would be best suited to a classic, powerhouse masculine like Aramis or Kouros. Or maybe not, his masculinity is more subtle than that.

Kermit needs a comfortable masculine that’s as classic as he is without being showy or über masculine. Guerlain’s Vetiver fits the bill perfectly, failing that, Kermit could opt for the more swampy Vetiver Extraordinaire by Editions de Parfums Frederic Malle. It seems that he does need to wear something green after all.

Gonzo

Gonzo is a weirdo. Don’t get me wrong, I mean that in the nicest way possible, I like to think that I’m a bit of a weirdo too, and it’s very often said that the best people are the ones that have more than their fair share of weird. Anyways, Gonzo would be the first person to admit that he’s a complete weirdo.

As well as being the weird one, Gonzo is my favourite Muppet. He has such a ridiculously offbeat sense of humour and absolute lack of awareness of the dangers he gets himself into that one cannot help but love him. He’s also the hardest of the Muppets to pick a fragrance for.

I could go for something obviously weird like Etat Libre d’Orange’s Sécrétions Magnifiques, but I don’t think even Gonzo could pull that one off successfully. Another from the line, Archives 69  – a weird blend of metallic notes juxtaposed against warm animalics, comes close but doesn’t quite cut it. The one fragrance that could suit this great and weird little Muppet is the good old circus-leather that is Dzing! by L’Artisan Parfumeur. This unusual barnyard leather perfectly suits Gonzo, who’s girlfriend let’s not forget is Camilla the chicken, and all of his weird quirks.

Animal

Animal is, well, an animal. He’s the hardcore drummer from The Electric Mayhem and is so wild that he spends some of his time chained up chanting “In control” repeatedly. Animal is probably one Muppet who doesn’t care about fragrance, first of all I don’t think he could be trusted in a perfumery, just think of all of that glass waiting to be broken, and secondly, he is probably so engrained with the smells of beer, cigarette smoke and sweat that fragrance wouldn’t help.

The obvious choice would be to pick an animalic fragrance, but I’m pretty confident that he has enough animalic odour of his own and adding to that would be disastrous. I think Animal needs a calming fragrance, a fragrance that would soothe his outbursts of mania, he could also do with a something clean smelling. Calm and clean leads me to one conclusion, and one conclusion only – Mugler Cologne.

Fozzie Bear

I defy anyone not to love Fozzie Bear! He may be a bumbling idiot, but he is the most loveable bumbling idiot on the planet. I imagine that his fragrance choices are as loveably misguided as his jokes and he could probably use our help in terms of scent selection.

Fozzie is a big cuddly bear of a Muppet and his fragrance should reflect his warm, joyful character. For Fozzie I would pick Etat Libre d’Orange and Tilda Swinton’s Like This, it is everything that Fozzie is; warm, cuddly, down-to-earth, joyful, silly and orange. Fozzie is a pretty huggable character as it stands but I think a few spritzes of Like This may turn him into the most huggable and loveable Muppet of all.

Join the Discussion!

Do you like The Muppets? Do you have Muppet Mania?

Who is your favourite Muppet?

What fragrances do you think The Muppets would wear?

Please leave your comments in the box below!

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