Don’t You Just Hate It When… – My Perfumed Pet Hates

Bling Bling Baby

Death by bling! ARGH.

I like to think that The Candy Perfume Boy is a blog that celebrates the more positive side of perfume and I also like to think that I’m quite a happy-go-lucky guy by nature. But I would be lying if I said that there weren’t aspects of perfume and the perfume industry that I find irksome. In fact there are quite a few things that seem to irk this usually sweet perfume boy.

Maybe I’m not the only one too, maybe there are things that get on your nerves that you would like to share. I firmly believe that it’s good to share and perhaps the ensuing discussion may act as some form of ‘group therapy’ that would be mutually beneficial for all.

The following 5 bug bears/pet hates/irksome details/nark inducers are of course not intended as a major criticism of the perfume industry, they are instead a light hearted attempt at poking fun at a few annoying little habits.

Bejewelled Perfume BottlesFracas

In my eyes there are two forms of tacky; good tacky (Juicy Couture perfumes and Butler & Wilson costume jewellery etc) and bad tacky (Donatella Versace), the worst offender, which is also my absolute biggest pet hate, has to be Swarovski crystal encrusted perfume bottles. I simply do not see the attraction, why would anyone want a perfume bottle that resembles the badly applied vajazzle of an Essex girl?

Now, I’m not opposed to a bit of sparkle, on the contrary, I believe that we all need a bit of sparkle in our lives, but absolutely not on our perfume bottles. Just take a look at what they did to Fracas!!

As well as being particularly hideous these bottles cost an absolute arm and a leg. Are they worth the price? Me thinks not.

Victoria's Secret Sexy Little Things Noir Tease TemptationRidiculous Flanker Names

I don’t mind flankers at all, admittedly the constant onslaught of flankers, many of which share nothing in common with the original fragrance they are ‘flankering’, can be very tiring, but there are some very good flankers out there. What really annoys me about flankers is the ridiculous and confusing names and as the industry now seems to be issuing flankers of flankers it only looks set to get worse.

So, which flanker names do I think are bad? How about ‘CK Free Blue’, which to me sounds like Sandra Bullock’s stage name in Miss Congeniality (Gracie Lou Freebush) or ‘Victoria’s Secret Sexy Little Things Noire Tease Temptation’?! (thanks to Robin of Now Smell This for pointing that one out). The general public are already confused by flankers there is no need to go and make it worse!

What’s next; Guerlain Shalimar Parfum Initial L’Eau Duet Eau Glacée Intense Sublime?

Non-Celebrity Celebuscents

Celebuscents are at their best when they are released by an unusual or unexpected celebrity who actually gives a crap about the end product. Tilda Swinton, Rossy de Palma and Alan Cumming, in collaboration with niche houses, have all made exceptional fragrances that reflect their persona and also smell pretty damn good.

A celebuscent can even be quite good when they are released by a more mainstream celebrity such as Sarah Jessica Parker or J LO (I don’t care what anyone says I quite like Live) and the majority at least smell wearable.

So why oh why do we have to suffer dreadful perfumes from the likes of non-celebrities such as; Paris Hilton, Tulisa, The cast of The Only Way is Essex (the British version of Jersey Shore), Kerry Katona, Kim Kardshian and Snooki? Non-celebrities who just want to make a quick buck and have no real interest or say in their fragrance. Stop lining their pockets people!!

Pure PoisonReformulations

Reformulations are the scorn of the perfume industry. They are also an unfortunate inevitability. Industry regulations, mainly from IFRA, and the varying cost and quality of natural ingredients means that most fragrances will be reformulated at some point. Still, the fact that reformulations are inevitable doesn’t stop them from being one of the most annoying things in Perfumeland.

I can’t tell you just how many hours I have spent trawling eBay for ‘vintage’ bottles of perfumes that I love but have since lost their former glory. The most recent of these eBay sessions was for a vintage bottle Pure Poison, a perfume that Dior has now added to its list of badly butchered reformulations.

Still, there is light at the end of the tunnel, some houses such as Estée Lauder have always ensured that their fragrances still smell the way they did when they were first released, this can only be a positive thing for the industry and other houses should aim to follow their lead.

Marc Jacobs

“But that’s a ladies fragrance?”

“Yes I know that the marketing department of the fragrance house that released that fragrance designated it ‘a ladies fragrance’, but seeing as it has no identifiable genitalia and is an abstract composition of natural and synthetic materials I will continue to wear/buy it. It smells good on me doesn’t it?”

If I had a penny for every time I’ve had this conversation then I would be able to retire with a life time supply of Amouage Gold Woman

Join the Discussion!

What are your perfumed pet hates?

Do bejewelled perfume bottles, ridiculous flanker names, non-celebrity Celebuscents, reformulations and annoying perfume conversations get on your nerves?

Please leave your answers in the comments box below!


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