The American state of North Carolina recently passed a disgusting bill that not only removes some of the legal protections provided for LGBT employees, but also stipulates that transgender people can only use the toilet facilities correspondent to the gender on their birth certificate. To most normal humans this seems utterly absurd. People are people, right? What harm can it cause if they want to live their life as the gender they feel they truly are? The answer is none, but this goes against the wider conditioning within society that states that men and women, and boys and girls, should behave, dress and love in particular ways. It’s that old trope that baby boys must wear blue and baby girls must wear pink and you know what? It’s bullshit.
But why are we so caught up on the idea of gender, and what makes the world so uncomfortable with people living outside the conventions of ‘male’ and ‘female’? Is it fear of the unknown? Fear of change? I’m not sure I can answer, but it’s certainly driven by both fear and a lack of knowledge, and understanding. In truth, we all know, deep down, that it doesn’t matter what gender a person is because there is beauty in what we perceive to be masculine and what we perceive to be feminine, so when these lines blur, we just see something equally as beautiful, different yes, but still wonderful.
This isn’t just a trait amongst the heterosexual majority though, it’s also one seen within the gay community too. All one needs to do is download a ‘dating’ app such as Grindr to see profiles of men looking for ‘masc only’ and ‘masc 4 masc’, and proclaiming to be ‘straight acting’ a term that would almost be hilarious if it weren’t so damaging. These phrases are offensive because what they say is that, to be a man and to be feminine is unattractive and that to be desirable, a gay man must conform to the heteronormative ideas of what a real man should be. It’s actually harmful because it doesn’t reflect the way people truly are and it suppresses individuals by making them feel uncomfortable with their authentic selves.
The truth is that labels simply do not allow for the natural diversity of human beings. There are over 7 billion people on the planet, yet gender-wise we are content on splitting them into two categories based solely on biology. The world needs to grow up, move on and start to accept people for their individuality and not what it believes a person, or a man, or a woman, should be.
But what the heck has this got to do with perfume? Well, the perfume industry has historically promoted a masculine and feminine divide, playing straight into the hands of social norms. It’s understandable why this has happened though, because it’s easy to market a scent if one knows who they are marketing it to. It’s also helpful for the consumer when they walk into the store if they know exactly where to look and what to look for. The problem with this however, is that we end up offering only a certain type of smell to men, and another certain type of smell to women, and unless each half is adventurous and inquisitive, they miss out on a huge amount of wonderful fragrance.
Sure, there are unisex fragrances out there in the mainstream, many of which are good, but even they have their own style. Look at scents like CK One, Mugler’s Cologne and even the new CK2, each of which is utterly brilliant in its execution, but is also light, inoffensive and cologne-like, picking out the notes and themes found within both masculine and feminine perfumery in order to be safe enough not to offend or challenge the ideas of what fragrance should or shouldn’t be. They are a stop gap between true gender freedom and they certainly aren’t in the majority.
I’ve been that unadventurous consumer. I’ve been to department stores and I’ve picked up bottles of fragrance that I have been told are right for me, rather than the ones that I feel in my heart suit my personality. Let’s face it, I’m going to smell more at home in something like Prada Candy (a cuddly, flirtatious benzoin/caramel dream) than I ever am in a fragrance like Diesel’s Only the Brave (a standard woody citrus that is anything but brave). I’m a man, yes, but that’s not me. I’m not that kind of man. I’m a vibrant, humorous and curious man who prefers Project Runway to Match of the Day, so I’m always going to go for something different, whether the sales assistants like it or not.
I’m reminded of a time not long ago when I took a trip into a local department store to pick up a bottle of YSL’s Rive Gauche. I wanted this metallic and aldehydic floral because it’s a beautiful relic of the 1970s that is so evocative of Saint Laurent’s classic fashions, and I want to wear it so I can be transported back to that glamorous time. It also paints a picture, through perfume, of power dressing and at times, I need some sprayable confidence in my life.
So off I go to the counter, prepped to find myself a bottle of Rive Gauche however, I had one obstacle I had not accounted for: the sales assistant. I pick up a tester, give it a sniff to make sure that yes, I do want to power dress with my perfume, but the sales assistant is having none of it.
“Sir, can I interest you in our new fragrance: ‘L’Homme Something or Other?’ (there are a bajillion flankers of L’Homme and I can’t remember which particular one she was hawking at that time)” she offers.
“No, thank you, I’d like a bottle of the Rive Gauche, please. Do you have a 30ml?” I reply.
“Are you looking for a gift, or for yourself?” she asks.
“For myself” I say.
“In that case, how about our M7 Oud Absolu, it’s a lovely one for men. It’s very popular” she says.
“I know, it’s lovely and I have a bottle, but I’d like a bottle of the Rive Gauche if at all possible” I respond, smiling angelically.
“We do have a masculine version if you would prefer that” she replies, becoming increasingly more irritated as my smile grows.
“Yes, I know and I have a bottle already, but what I would really like is the Rive Gauche because that is what I have come in to buy” I say, my face hurting from my ever widening smile. It is painful to kill with kindness, you know.
“Sir, I’m not sure you are aware, but this fragrance is not for men, it’s for women” she says, resting bitch face fully in position. Well played, sales assistant, well played.
“Yes, I know that this is a fragrance designed for women however, I would very much like to buy a bottle because I want to wear it.” I say as my smile breaks into a deadpan stare.
“That’ll be £30, please” she curtly states, finally relenting.
I leave victorious but annoyed. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that I’m in the minority and that not every man is going to walk into a store with as open a mind as I am, but surely, a sale is a sale, no matter whether it’s the sale one would like or not. I feel that consumers should be allowed to use their noses to find out what they want. Perfume should be more accessible and we should be more accepting of the fact that people are more open about the duality of their gender, so the fragrances they want to wear are going to be more defined in theirs.
The industry is moving with the tide though and with the rise of niche fragrance we have seen a movement that seeks to do with away with the idea of gender, with many houses simply offering fragrances without any pre-defined label of male, female or even unisex. These perfumes are for those that wish to wear them and ultimately, that’s what it is all about – smelling good and feeling good, and we should all encourage ourselves and others to follow this mantra.
Yes there are historically masculine and feminine themes in perfumery and these are interesting. As a writer, I am intrigued by how a modern masculine fougere compares with a classic, for example, but please know that whether a fragrance is ‘for men’ or ‘for women will have no bearing on whether I wear it or not. I’m as comfortable in Juicy Couture as I am in Kouros. Ultimately, I’m not suggesting that we should do away with the idea of ‘masculine’ and ‘feminine’ perfumery and I get that a fragrance is created with a particular person in mind, instead it’s simply about guiding people to the perfumes they love, not what we think they should love. It’s about accessibility, a lack of judgement, openness and diversity.
So I say all of this just to remind the perfume wearers of the world of one key thing that is essential in the world of perfumery: wear whatever the heck you like. Be your own person, not a shill for marketing. Never apologise for what you wear, whether it’s as cheap as chips or causes you to remortgage. If it makes you happy that’s all that matters. What I love and what you love may not be the same but we are united by our passion and that’s something worth celebrating. Let’s embrace our diversity and be fearless with our fragrance, and maybe the world will follow suit.