Bad Brad – Five Reasons Why Chanel’s New Nº5 Advert is Naff

Yesterday Chanel released the brand new and much-anticipated Nº5 ad starring Brad Pitt and if you haven’t seen it already, where have you been? It’s everywhere! One cannot load up Facebook, Twitter or YouTube without being bombarded by Brad in his beardy glory.

When the news that Chanel had picked Brad Pitt as the new face of Nº5 broke the whole world (OK maybe just us fumenerds) pretty much thought “Good move Chanel, good move”. I mean, what could be more refreshing than a male face on one of the most iconic feminine fragrances of all time? It had the potential to be a truly terrific advert, especially when considering just how grand and over the top Chanel’s past offerings had been, but alas it was not to be and the result is really rather flat.

I’m not trying to be a Negative Nancy here, and kudos to Chanel for attempting something completely different, but really, this is the best they could do? I honestly thought it was a joke the first time I watched it, or at least a teaser trailer, but no, it’s the real thing.

They managed to snag one of the most iconic actors of our time (I’d have preferred Clooney but that’s just a matter of preference) and this is what they came up with?! Has Karl finally lost it? They seem to have forgotten that they are Chanel and they can do anything!

So, in light of the disappointment that is Brad Pitt for Chanel I present to you; Five Reasons Why Chanel’s New Nº5 Advert is Naff…

Beardy Brad Brooding
Beardy Brad Brooding

1. It Doesn’t Really Say Anything

“It’s not a journey, every journey but we go on”

“The world turns and we turn with it”

“But wherever I go there you are”

Very nice, but what does it all mean?! I’ve watched this ad at least 12 times now in a vain attempt to gain an understanding of what it’s all about but I’m still none the wiser. Nº5 is about glamour, drama and fashion, it’s not about vaguely inspirational words, minimalism and ill-fitting un-ironed clothing.

It feels like someone put a number of bland, barely meaningful phrases into a hat and picked the first dozen or so that they could get a hold of, stringing them together into something that is as dull as it is nonsensical.

2. It’s All A Bit Calvin Klein Circa 1994

Thanks to my good buddy Nick for pointing this one out, and it’s so true, this is essentially Chanel’s take on a CK One commercial. Chanel, one of the great fashion houses and a leader not a follower, ripping off a Calvin Klein commercial from the 90s that was much cooler. I shouldn’t have to spell out just how bad that is.

3. Brad Looks Bad

Now I’m no massive Brad Pitt fan, sure I think he’s handsome and not that bad an actor (I thought he was pretty fab in Inglorious Basterds – “areeverdechi”) but I imagine even the most hardcore Pittophiles would be happy to admit that he looks rather unkempt here. Sure, he looks a bit rugged and earthy but since when was Chanel rugged and earthy?

He needs a shave, a hair cut and a sharply tailored suit.

4. Brad Doesn’t Actually Wear Nº5

I know, I know, he was never going to actually dab on some Nº5, but you can’t blame a boy for hoping! How awesome would it have been if Brad splashed on some Nº5 with reckless abandonment, not caring what the world thought because he’s a real man, sure of himself and happy to be smelling so darn iconic.

You’ve destroyed my dreams Chanel. Destroyed. My. Dreams.

5. It Isn’t This:

Disclaimer

Videos via Chanel and RopTV on YouTube. Image 1 assets.nydailynews.com. Snark is my own.

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