The Scent a Celebrity Series is my vain attempt at picking perfumes for those who don’t know any better, yes I mean celebrities. Let’s face it, most celebrities are incapable of choosing decent clothing/boyfriends/girlfriends/movies/insert-celebrity-mistake-here let alone having the ability to make decisions about something as important as their scent – that’s where I come in. Never fear my dear schlebs, I will ensure that you are appropriately scented, all you need to do is listen.

So far the series has touched upon a variety of famous names including; those fuzzy-wuzzy comics The Muppets, the Icelandic super-talent that is Björk, schizophrenic female (but kinda-male due to her alter ego) rapper Nicki Minaj, the maniacal monarchs that make up the Royal Family and super-glam pop tour de force Scissor Sisters. Joining this patchwork quilt of celebrities is everyone’s favourite dysfunctional TV family, The Simpsons.

I am a die-hard The Simpsons Fan and I confess to having seen nearly every single episode at least twice. The colourful inhabitants of Springfield, or predominately-yellow inhabitants should I say, each provide a large dash of humour to a town that you wouldn’t really want to live in but are quite happy to watch from the comfort and relative safety of your own sofa.

The Simpsons: Banksy Style

In Part 1 of “Spritzing Springfield” I will focus my attention on the Family Simpson themselves before moving on to scenting a handful of my favourite Springfield inhabitants in Part 2.

The six members of The Simpson Clan each add their own little something to the general level of overwhelming disfunction. There’s the idiot, the book worm, the rebel, the occasionally-homicidal baby and the whinging old man. Oh and there’s Marge desperately trying to keep it all together. This is going to be an interesting episode…

Homer Simpson is the loveable idiot. Nowhere on the planet is there a more stupid yet kind-hearted person that allows himself to get into some of the most bizarre, albeit rather hilarious, instances of hijinks known to man.

Two of Homer Simpson’s favourite things are food (doughnuts being at the top of the list) and alcohol. The only fragrance I can think of that incorporates the two rather successfully is Thierry Mugler’s A*Men Pure Malt, a hyper-sweet blend of chocolate, caramel, vanilla and whisky. Now I’m not saying that Homer would wear this often, he does appear to be the only-wear-perfume-on-special-occassions kind-of-guy and most of the time he probably smells a bit gross, but when Marge insists he scrubs up he could pull of this Mugler rather well. Unless he tries to eat himself that is.

Ah Marge Simpson; homemaker, big-hair advocate, foxy lady and super-mum with the patience of an absolute saint. Can we give this woman an award please? Not only does she have to deal with a baby that refuses to grow up, a know-it-all daughter and a delinquent son she has to put up with a neanderthal idiot for a husband, and she does it with a good degree of grace and poise.

Marge strikes me as the kind of gal who only owns one bottle of perfume which she uses only on special occasions (church, date nights or evenings out), I also imagine that she treasures every last drop of it. Marge’s perfume would be her little piece of luxury that probably doesn’t cost much and I would think that she wears something loud and quite obviously “perfume-y” like Estee Lauder’s Beautiful. Mum’s always smell good in Beautiful!

Bart Simpson, or The Bart Man as I believe he likes to be called is the original rebel without a cause. He is the class clown who misbehaves to gain attention from his peers, possibly to fill the void in positive attention he fails to receive from his father, who is too busy drinking beer/strangling him to be nice.

Ay Karumba! What sort of scent do you pick for the young rebel? Especially one who probably doesn’t want to wear a scent because it might attract female attention and we all know that girls have cooties? I don’t think he’d actually wear it but Bart would suit the confrontational abrasiveness of Etat Libre d’Orange’s Rien, a no-holds-barred leather that warns you that trouble is afoot. Quite fitting for our young rebel I think!

Lisa Simpson is a complex character. On the surface she may seem slightly out of place as a Simpson; she’s a book worm, a goody-two-shoes, a conscientious and a talented sax-player BUT she’s also jealous, constantly trying to fit in and trying to be something she’s not, mean about her family and at times quite misguided.

For Lisa I would pick a fragrance that is all sweetness and light to begin with but darker underneath, almost as if there is a big green-eyed monster lurking beneath all the sugar coating. Marc Jacobs’ Lola would be a good choice for Lisa, for a start it’s a popular scent for young girls and would work for that part of her that always wishes to fit in but it also nicely represents that light vs dark concept by pitching sweet fruit and florals against a dark, inky patchouli note. A mainstream feminine with just enough depth to keep our favourite geek satisfied.

Maggie is my favourite Simpson. Despite her inability to communicate verbally or with the written word Maggie is perhaps the most expressive of all Simpsons. One simple suck on her pacifier and Maggie emotes a million things about how she feels and how she utterly despairs of her family, especially her buffoon of a father.

Picking a scent for a baby is always difficult, I mean they don’t really do much and despite Maggie’s clear intelligence, strong personality and surprising dexterity (girl knows how to use a gun) she’s not really at the age where perfume is important. With that in mind I think I shall perfume Maggie with a scent that she will be familiar with, is befitting of her age and can act as a curious little novelty; Play Doh by Demeter Fragrance Library.

Poor Grandpa Simpson! It can’t be easy being old and miserable, and who can blame him  his family don’t really treat him with much love, care or respect, instead they see him as a large irritation to be ignored. Well to be fair them, he is a bit annoying!

Grandpa Simpson may be old now but legend has it that he was a military man with a thing for the ladies many moons ago. I imagine that Grandpa would want to relive those “good ole days” with something bold showing a distinct lady-killer vibe and no fragrance fits the bill better than Kouros by Yves Saint Laurent.

Part 2

That’s it for The Family Simpson, but stay tuned for Part 2 of Spritzing Springfield next week, in which I’ll be scenting some of my favourite Springfield residents.

Join the Discussion?

The Simpsons – love them or hate them? Discuss.

What perfume would you choose for The Simpsons?

Do you agree with my choices?

Please leave your thoughts in the comments box below!

Disclaimer

Image 1 simpsonschannel.com. Image 2 knowyourmeme.com. Image 3 comicvine.com. Image 4 bartsimpsonpictures.squarelogic.net. Image 5 fanpop.com. Image 6 photobucket.com. Image 7 simpsonspedia.net. Video via YouTube.